NEW VIDEO: “Streaking With YouTubers” - I’ll be stalking/following some people who reblog - thanks for the love, y’all! <3
how may I help you today? we have a sale on men’s cardigans perfect for the fall weather
I CANNOT SCROLL PAST THIS AND NOT REBLOG FUCK HAHHAHAHA
When I finished reading I said to myself, “No fucking way!” Clever… very clever. You win this time.
This is by far the greatest post in existence. You can all go home. I am in pure awe at the brilliance of this. The world is beautiful and there is hope for humanity.
DeGeneres also masterminded the pizza boy gag. “When Ellen said she wanted to do it, we said we’d hire an actor, but she said, ‘No, no, no. You’re not hiring an actor. I want a real pizza delivery person,’ ” Zadan revealed. “We said that the FBI would have to do a background check. She said, ‘I don’t care. I want it to be real. I want this guy to walk in and not know he’s going to the Academy Awards.’ “
She’s a genius
She is my favorite person holy hell
I want her to host everything !(via ctron164)
when i was 12 i made a deal with my dad that if i didn’t date until i was 16 he’d owe me $100 AND I FUCKING REMEMBERED THE OTHER DAY AND MY DAD SAID IT WAS "RIDICULOUS ENOUGH TO BE TRUE" HE’S ACTUALLY GONNA GIVE ME $100
so my dad come home today and was like “katie i did it i got your money”
he gave me 100 one dollar bills
my dad gave me 100 one dollar bills
i can pretend to be a super star
i am a queen
i made it rain on my mom
im goi ng to die from laughter
crime rates down 100% after president makes it illegal to do crimes.
"i don’t know why we didn’t think of this before," he said
How to be American